Levels of Exclusion
Have you ever been involved in a group where you felt like you weren’t really wanted because you were well, lets just say, “different” or just “too much”? Yet, you knew very well that those involved or coming to this group or organization could totally benefit from your being and experience so you kept going. See, there are usually a few kinds of people when it comes to volunteer work and groups and organizations involving such. What many do not know is I have done my fair share on many levels and always been a benefit more than a bene-flop. Yes, I did just make that up but it is my blog so just bene-flow with it okay! (AND REFOCUS)
I have sat and looked back over the different journey’s of being a hand to help someone or many people I have been fortunate to be a part of whether it was community volunteering, in the church, with the homeless, the less fortunate, the military families or whatever, there were levels of doers, levels of downers unfortunately and one more I will get to shortly. The doers were those that are just happy to be able to do for others, encourage others to do, help others to do, want to be a blessing to others while doing not just to be seen and heard but because what they are doing are actually is from their heart and soul, not only for self gratification and to say “Did you see what I did, did you know how much I did?”
Then we have the downers who only like for certain groups of people to do, particular social standards, certain social groups, as for military wives- certain ranks are often of most importance, in churches you must have a leadership title or a position to be of importance to be noticed to serve or pay a certain amount into that offering plate or your “service” is not counted as a high value in some places of worship, in some organizations if you are not on every known board in town and from a well known local family with many connections your “service” will go unnoticed and unspoken of but as soon as you cross someone, surely, your name will be recalled but not how they know you.
I left out one level above because I want to go into depth on that more here, the disablers. The disablers will go as far as completely disabling your mission to succeed or continue, may even be outright hateful or attempt to belittle you in midst of your peers to steer you away from giving your time, efforts or finances if that applies. I mean, these people will darn near hurt themselves to try to destroy you and make you look bad. This kind of person will go through great lengths to sabotage you beyond the connection of volunteering, working together or whatever it is you are doing to totally distract and destruct to make sure you are out of their spotlight. You will never feel right with this level of people and you will know immediately almost upon interaction with them, especially if you are one to present ideas, are outspoken or communicate freely.
Now, what can I say? There is absolutely nothing we can do about any of these negative players but play harder or play around them, most of all- be as silent as possible. The best way to beat a fool is to ignore their antics or counter in a measure they will not expect. If they expect you to quit, keep going. If they expect you to be angry, smile and bring even more fresh new ideas with a vibrant face of determination even if you are ready to strangle them in the bathroom. But please do NOT strangle them in the bathroom unless it is ONLY in your mind!! (lol) Trust me, I have been there! What people don’t understand is, often the ones they push away actually have vital experience and possibly do not offer to help more simply because of knowing they are in a setting of “downers and disablers” with very few “doer” hearts.
Sometimes people are so fixated on the exterior, they cannot learn anything about what is inside of a person to build for the common goal of benefiting others. Oftentimes, many are so focused on looking like the very best helper, getting the “teachers pet” award instead of just doing what is right. When we do what is right for the right reasons, our work speaks for us much later, we do not have to read every line out loud to the world as it is written.
In my own life, I have had people attempt to exclude me because they didn’t like my boldness, my tenacity, my lack of political correctness, but also not caring what people think about me because everyone will always have an opinion from the moment they lay eyes on you regardless of how much or how little you say. Have I ever given up? Certainly, because every battle is not meant to be fought and not every mission is mine to conquer or complete. But what people think of me or want me to do, Do I care? No, because “my life” is not anyone else’s to exclude me from! So with all of that to say this, do not let anyone ever exclude you from anything in “your” life. Take control of your life, stand firm, be a true doer if you wish, tell those downers and disablers to kick rocks! You might be different, you might not fit their vision but you fit Gods vision, you might not be the societal norm but you are your norm, you might not be a stick figure but you are healthy and alive, you might have weird hair, you might be new but once they were too, you might not be an officers, deacons, or city council members spouse but you are YOU! Being you is the best thing because you are original, you aren’t trying to keep up or fit in, you aren’t trying to please anyone but you and God or whoever your faith is with, you can be confident being you! A magnificent and wonderful you!