Grow as you sow.

This move is showing me something so real. If you are young, just starting out, a new couple etc, keep reading and I hope it gives you some hope and encouragement.

When my husband and I first decided to unite and cohabitate under the same roof, we had very little “things” in the apartment, a bed, a TV (nothing like the fancy flat screens you have to fight for on black Friday now but the very first tube style flat screens), a desktop computer and desk, one pot n pan set, a casserole dish, a Dutch oven, a plate set and few glasses. No living room furniture, no wall hangings but a coffee table lol. Soon after we did get a dining set and living room furniture and decor. We worked for the “things” we wanted to have and could’ve ran to a store and done a fine credit account to buy but he was adamant to not build debt when we truly had all we “needed”. We never went without any necessary items to live but took a little time on the luxury things. (Within 3 months we had the extras)

We moved from VA to CA into a bigger place (due to his career). In CA we built more to our lives. There I said, I didn’t wanna be in another apartment, townhouse or close to or attached to another person or people. I honestly didn’t think he was listening to my ideas on that at the time because he has always been frugal and wants to have money and not just look like we have came up. So from CA to Eastern NC we went next. I flew ahead of him as I had my fill of 29 Palms coyotes, rattlesnakes, scorpions, heat, dead town, freezing cold- you name it! Anyways, he came in to NC, I was with family and he decided to go into Jacksonville to check out places to stay and secure a home. Never was indicated he was even remotely considering buying a house. In fact, the slickster implied renting. I was like okay whateverssss. Well,one afternoon like he had been doing, sent me a pic message with an advertising of a house and said “what do you think?” I said something along the lines of -nice yard and I would like to see inside better and how many rooms and baths? He replied, “good I just bought it!” I was blue faced, literally mouth gaped open like a pelican after dinner and borderline pissed off. His mission was to surprise me and give me what I asked for.

Again, the house- at first seemed a bit empty vs the cozier places we lived prior. But we gained more and more. When we left we had what felt was “too much stuff”. ENC to HI. Got here, seemed empty and as we worked we got more “stuff”. Now leaving HI, I was just looking at how much we have and I smiled and laughed thinking about how we were so “underprivileged” to start and now I am losing it trying to get rid of things, giveaway, resell etc.

Looking back on how we mainly had love, just a few items, to now excess of pots and pans to include that Wal-Mart brand starter kit (now ‘good’ pots and pans- everyone has something they call their ‘good pot’ lol) , furnishings and decor etc. We also have more children, more wisdom, more life and lived through more lessons but we still have more love and survived more struggles!

So, believe that you can grow from where you are if you just stay with it, build as you go and “things” don’t make your residence a home- you do. Home is wherever you are and where your heart is no matter if its a house, an apartment, a townhouse, a rambler in the desert, in between places etc. There will be storms, there will be struggles as soon as you think you are in the clear! There will be road blocks that look like obstacles but are truly detours to a safer route.
There will also always be those naysaying, negative Nathaniel and Nancy’s who are quick to remind you of what you do not have or how you could be doing, those who will have a lot of “stuff” you do not have at the time, always suggesting that you need to do this or that. Ignore the ones who have these suggestions yet are truly wasteful and unstable themselves. You will know who means well and who does not.

Keep striving and believing and the good lord will triple your inventory and your story!

Love & Peace.

If this was encouragement to you, leave a comment and subscribe to receive directly to your email. Thank you for reading!

Levels of Exclusion

Have you ever been involved in a group where you felt like you weren’t really wanted because you were well, lets just say, “different” or just “too much”? Yet, you knew very well that those involved or coming to this group or organization could totally benefit from your being and experience so you kept going. See, there are usually a few kinds of people when it comes to volunteer work and groups and organizations involving such. What many do not know is I have done my fair share on many levels and always been a benefit more than a bene-flop. Yes, I did just make that up but it is my blog so just bene-flow with it okay! (AND REFOCUS)

I have sat and looked back over the different journey’s of being a hand to help someone or many people I have been fortunate to be a part of whether it was community volunteering, in the church, with the homeless, the less fortunate, the military families or whatever, there were levels of doers, levels of downers unfortunately and one more I will get to shortly. The doers were those that are just happy to be able to do for others, encourage others to do, help others to do, want to be a blessing to others while doing  not just to be seen and heard but because what they are doing are actually is from their heart and soul, not only for self gratification and to say “Did you see what I did, did you know how much I did?”

Then we have the downers who only like for certain groups of people to do, particular social standards, certain social groups, as for military wives- certain ranks are often of most importance, in churches you must have a leadership title or a position to be of importance to be noticed to serve or pay a certain amount into that offering plate or your “service” is not counted as a high value in some places of worship, in some organizations if you are not on every known board in town and from a well known local family with many connections your “service” will go unnoticed and unspoken of but as soon as you cross someone, surely, your name will be recalled but not how they know you.

I left out one level above because I want to go into depth on that more here, the disablers. The disablers will go as far as completely disabling your mission to succeed or continue, may even be outright hateful or attempt to belittle you in midst of your peers to steer you away from giving your time, efforts or finances if that applies. I mean, these people will darn near hurt themselves to try to destroy you and make you look bad. This kind of person will go through great lengths to sabotage you beyond the connection of volunteering, working together or whatever it is you are doing to totally distract and destruct to make sure you are out of their spotlight. You will never feel right with this level of people and you will know immediately almost upon interaction with them, especially if you are one to present ideas, are outspoken or communicate freely.

Now, what can I say? There is absolutely nothing we can do about any of these negative players but play harder or play around them, most of all- be as silent as possible.  The best way to beat a fool is to ignore their antics or counter in a measure they will not expect. If they expect you to quit, keep going. If they expect you to be angry, smile and bring even more fresh new ideas with a vibrant face of determination even if you are ready to strangle them in the bathroom. But please do NOT strangle them in the bathroom unless it is ONLY in your mind!! (lol) Trust me, I have been there! What people don’t understand is, often the ones they push away actually have vital experience and possibly do not offer to help more simply because of knowing they are in a setting of “downers and disablers” with very few “doer” hearts.

Sometimes people are so fixated on the exterior, they cannot learn anything about what is inside of a person to build for the common goal of benefiting others. Oftentimes, many are so focused on looking like the very best helper, getting the “teachers pet” award instead of just doing what is right. When we do what is right for the right reasons, our work speaks for us much later, we do not have to read every line out loud to the world as it is written.

In my own life, I have had people attempt to exclude me because they didn’t like my boldness, my tenacity, my lack of political correctness, but also not caring what people think about me because everyone will always have an opinion from the moment they lay eyes on you regardless of how much or how little you say. Have I ever given up? Certainly, because every battle is not meant to be fought and not every mission is mine to conquer or complete. But what people think of me or want me to do, Do I care? No, because “my life” is not anyone else’s to exclude me from! So with all of that to say this, do not let anyone ever exclude you from anything in “your” life. Take control of your life, stand firm, be a true doer if you wish, tell those downers and disablers to kick rocks! You might be different, you might not fit their vision but you fit Gods vision, you might not be the societal norm but you are your norm, you might not be a stick figure but you are healthy and alive, you might have weird hair, you might be new but once they were too, you might not be an officers, deacons, or city council members spouse but you are YOU! Being you is the best thing because you are original, you aren’t trying to keep up or fit in, you aren’t trying to please anyone but you and God or whoever your faith is with, you can be confident being you! A magnificent and wonderful you!


Indication of a monarch

Often we see people, places and the world right around us evolve, change, decompose, erode, flourish, grow, nourish, become motivated, become stagnant etc. But whatever the case may be, we take notice and to be even more, “real” we often criticize instead of energize. Wait, what?, right? Yes, I too am guilty and have sentenced myself to punishments suitable. However, I have learned from those experiences as I have also been, more so, on the end of the needing energizing instead of criticizing.

The monarch is known as the “king” of butterflies hence it’s name. There are four stages to a single life cycle and they go through four generations in one year. I know, are we talking about people or butterflies? Just keep reading. The four stages include the egg, the larvae (what we know as the caterpillar) the pupa (chrysalis) and then we finally have an adult butterfly. Now, look at this, nobody enjoys or appreciates the eggs, some find the caterpillar interesting-some find them creepy, some like to watch the pupa only to see the moment that the butterfly will hatch and spread it’s wings. Now, this is like us, as people, nobody appreciates us when we are in an egg state, they cannot see the outward beauty we will have from such an unappealing exterior in the future, nobody has time to be patient with the fuzzy caterpillar and very few will stand by waiting, watching, praying, cheering, motivating, energizing, encouraging, protecting you from falling before you can fly while still in your chrysalis. But the moment you begin to shine in all your glory as a full grown butterfly, you’ve survived, you’ve weathered the storms, you’ve endured, you’ve been left behind, you’ve been cast out of the in crowds, you’ve been put down because during your caterpillar hours, your vision was not where theirs was, you did not yet have your wings to soar with the rest of the monarchy. When you were an egg, you were a sticky mess, you didn’t look like anything that ever had been blessed. When you were in your final stage of the chrysalis, it took longer for you to come out and fly than they did so they left you behind, they flew off and talked about you….. but unknowing, it wasn’t your season. See, the Monarch comes out in February or March to find a mate, then they migrate in a northern or eastern direction to lay their eggs and begin the new first generation for the following year.

Now, reflect- in each and every single stage, you are in a full generation of life! It does NOT matter what your current situation looks like, no matter if you are just an egg or if you are now reproducing your first generation, know that every stage is necessary to fly! Forward on, March & April eggs are laid on milkweed plants and hatch out caterpillars. When you have a baby caterpillar stage, it won’t do anything more than eat the milkweed so it can grow into a grown one in about a two weeks timeframe. Now comes a stage where that “weird, fuzzy, slow, fat, antisocial…..” caterpillar undergoes metamorphosis. Now it will attach itself to a stem, and transform. Like people, sometimes some people distance themselves to a “stem and transform”. Sometimes we have to hang by ourselves, to become beautiful creatures. It often feels like we are literally turned upside down on a stem, being wrapped in a chrysalis, the old us smothered out, transformed so our new can emerge. But only then are we appreciated, not many will appreciate when you were an egg, that you had to be alone, you struggled getting a stem of your own, you went south instead of north to find your mate and had eggs….. still looking- went west instead of east for a mate, no eggs but still not in right direction and wrong climate and environment can be near fatal or fatal…. some of your eggs didn’t make it, some of your eggs didn’t hatch, some of the eggs were “different” so somebody has made you feel less than because of that. But on this day, let this “analogy” of sorts be encouragement to you to embrace whatever stage you are in, whatever generation you are in, accept that you are living and growing, when it is your time to fly, you will. Just remember, a moth is formed in a cocoon- made of soft exterior while a butterfly has a chrysalis that is a harder exterior. What would you rather be? Some that will look at you in negative light don’t even realize, you indicate the creation of a monarch. Just embrace it, besides the monarch tastes horrible to its predators. Your life process alone is enough to kill the ones who don’t mean well.